Susan Boyle, It's All Wrong

I'm a little late to jump on the bandwagon over Susan Boyle, but I'm not interested in talking about how I teared up when I heard her sing, or whether or not she's real or a hoax perpertrated on the world of YouTube. My concern is the cruelty that was extended to her, the sneers, the guffaws that were seen before she started to sing. The Guardian was quoted as saying that just becasue she's ugly, we shouldn't have assumed she couldn't sing, after all we don't hold ugly men to the same standards.

My problem is where do we all get off saying she's ugly, that she needs a makeover before we can applaud her. Even now people are betting on how long before she plucks the eybrows, is lasered, botoxed, cinched in, re-dressed according to our fashion trends. We're all patting ourselves on our backs because we were generous enough to allow this woman to enter our hallowed halls of beauty, even though we're hoping she changes fast enough so we don't have to deal with the chubby figure and over forty (heavens, it's closer to fifty) person of the female gender. Once she does, she becomes just another YouTube clip and we can return to our smug little lives.

Don't do it Susan. And keep those judges away from giving you your first kiss, as if they were handing out food to the hungry at a food pantry.

Birthday by the sea

I'm not quite a Pisces, I'm right on the cusp of Aires, but the ocean (actually any moving body of water) is like a meditation to me. Never learned to swim well, become panicked if my feet don't touch the bottom, but put me next to the surf or overlooking a fast-moving river and I can find my bliss. Given the opportunity and I totally zone out and go catatonic. Even knowing its limits, the ocean gives me the sense of infinity, which even the star-lit heavens can't.

So it's natural to want to see the ocean on or around my birthday (March 22 in case anybody actually reads this). This year it was Santa Barbara over Malibu and to say my spirits were lifted is a major understatement. The sound of gulls, the lap of waves, the deep green-blue color, the soft grey-blue sky, it's why we all came out to California and stay,- despite the traffic, the smog, the drivers who are bent on trying to occupy our lane even while we are still in the lane,- we're here and we're still standing.

Of coure I'm the person who when I lived in NYC, would go to sit overlooking the East River and watch the Pearlwick Hamper sign blink on and off, and think that combo was meditative. I told you I'm a sucker for any body of water that moves, but it does have to be bigger than my bathtub.

Go watch a wave, it's good for you!

Enjoy your freedom

It's been an eon since I last posted and since then we've had an ecconomic meltdown, the world is obsessed with Twitter and texting, friends have lost their jobs, I'm financially down and yet this morning I am smiling and feeling good. Am I crazy? Maybe. But at times like these, the mere fact that I am breathing, walking, lifting weights (I'm aiming for Michelle Obama arms, forget Madonna)and able to look forward to the future.

Passover is almost upon us and for those who are not Jewish (and even some who are), the story is of getting freedom, leaving behind in Egypt (everyone has their own particular Egypt) all the things that drag us down into the rut of slavery. Believe me, slavery of the mind and spirit can seen easy and we stay there because it doesn't require any thinking on our part, we just have to exist instead of live. Well, even though I'm down in the $$$ dept., I'm still eating and paying the mortgage. (yes, it's way down, but not quite finished) Gratitude is my freedom for this year. The more I appreciate, the better I'll feel.

It's spring, dammit. Get out and enjoy it!

Two Minutes Can Just Whiz By In A Flash

Who knew that as an author I'd be back auditioning myself and my book for a roomful of strangers who are looking for an easy fix for their booking problems. I was part of a two hour slog, where dozens of other writiers were also delivering their two-minute pitch as we all dutifully clapped every time someone was introduced and then when they finished. The girl next to me couldn't stop texting except when it was her turn and she suddenly was doing stand up as the Chinese chef of a book for Jewish noshers, "the chosen food for the chosen people."

What chance did I have next to that and "good girls doing bad things," or "orthodox Judaism, with sex, drugs and rock and roll?" A novel about gaining insight and striving to fulfill your dreams over the summer of 1943? Who would book me next to Alan Zwiebel? Or the two singing Jewish princesses, dressed in their high heels and aprons, qvelling about only making reservations, not dinner?

But it was an oppoortunity (a very expensive one, I might add) and who am I to say no to any opportunity? I'll know better next time. Stilettos, mini-skirt, feathers (who cares if I'm too old, it will get attention) and I'll throw in the sex, drugs and rock and roll or maybe a little klezmer.

What if you wrote a blog and nobody came

Writing is considered a solitary game, so blogging without readers shouldn't be such a catastrophe, but even when you keep a diary, you're always hoping that someone will actually take a peek once in awhile. That's why I finally decided to self-publish my novel, so that finally people could read it after all my years of talking about it. And you know what, having people read AND like it was really good, validating, you know, now I could legitimately call myslef a writer.

But when no one ever bothers to read or comment on my blogs (which I admit will win no prizes even in blogland) it gets a little lonely. So for further validation, I've come up with a list of thing I do that make my day worthwhile.

Writing
Rescue animals
Being a good friend
Mentoring a child in reading
Volunteering at the Zoo
Helping my neighbors (that includes strangers aroound the world)

Not that much when you consider how much crap is going on around the world, but the best I can come up with just now.

How about you?

Diets don't work but writing workshops do

Last night four of us got together to form a new writing group. If you've never been in one, it sometimes feels a little intimidating, but to us old-timers, it's like coming home. To have a group or workshop or whatever you decide to call it, where the focus is on the writing, the process of writing, the joys as well as the pains in the journey is a wonderful experience. I know ultimately we all have to sit down by ourselves and face the blank page and no one can do it for you, but having the discipline of the group, the knowledge that you have to come up with something to bring to that group, helps to push you forward. I've missed having it, am real happy to be starting with this new group, four very different women, with very different stories to tell. It's exciting and I still have to face that blank page by myself, but I'm no longer alone.

Talking to Your Readers

Next to actually having a good day of writing, what could be better than getting to talk to your readers or potential readers. So that makes last night, my first time of book reading, signing and selling at the Westwood Library a fully great experience.

Even when you say you're not nervous, the prospect of being alone in a room when you're hoping to read to the public is daunting. It conjures up every memory of a time when you were stood up or ignored starting back with grade school, when your second grade crush walked right by you without a glance.

But life has a way of evening the score sometimes, so there I was watching the room fill up with both strangers and the friends who surprised me by coming. You get to qvell about your characters, hoping people will find them as interesting as you did for so many years of your life. When they sit there, listening, quiet and attentive, then ask intelligent questions, well is there anything better? Not for a writer there isn't.

And when they come up and plunk their moneys down in order to buy a copy, that's just the cherry on the whipped cream on top of the cake. And not fattening either. It's definitely a good day. And it makes the next writing project seem a little bit more validating, as you sweat over the research, the characters that become frozen, the drama that doesn't feel dramatic.

Such is the joys of writing!